dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize