the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Randomize
