Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
