the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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