I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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