we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
