I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
