Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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