So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he was CRYING into my vagina
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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