Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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