Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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