hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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