I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
