I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
