No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
