i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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