it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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