Ambien. No doubt about it.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
