i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
