I wish I could punch you in the face.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
