Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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