You really coming over, don't trick.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I met the friendliest cop last night
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
