never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize