I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
should my penis look like a turkey
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
