im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
