so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Randomize
