How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
