We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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