You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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