no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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