Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
