oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
