He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
