Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
