I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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