so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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