I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
