uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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