they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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