Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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