dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
