Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i permit you to call me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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