Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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