my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
