I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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