Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay

(602): View more from Arizona

I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"

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(336): View more from North Carolina

he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.

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(512): View more from Texas

I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(901): View more from Tennessee

I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.

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(817): View more from Texas

Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.

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(636): View more from Missouri

It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.

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