I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.