i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.