Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here