Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.

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(519): View more from Ontario

he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes

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(626): View more from California

It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.

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21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
Read it at the TFLN blog
(513): View more from Ohio

i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.

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(315): View more from New York

We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.

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(831): View more from California

we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?

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(239): View more from Florida

If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid

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