Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
