There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize