I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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