I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
