He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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