The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Bring me that man meat
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
