My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
