i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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