it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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