i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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