I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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