We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
