I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
