some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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