you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize