im drinking this country out of the recession.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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